A Key to Personal Growth: Seek New Experiences, Despite the Pull to Avoid Them

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Published on Monday, 30 January 2012 01:17

Written by Ben Johnson, Ph.D., ABPP

I think a lot about personal growth and how to help us all move in positive directions in our lives. I have been studying psychology and psychological science for almost 25 years. Here is a way to sum up a whole lot of the field: Seek new experiences, despite the pull not to.

Many of us tend to avoid new experiences. There are a number of reasons for this. There is probably a natural biological inclination towards avoiding things that seem dangerous. When life has thrown us some hard knocks or painful experiences, we can come to feel subconciously or consciously that it is better to stick with what is familiar. Personality also probably comes in to play. Some people by their nature are less open to new experiences, perhaps because they have a more sensitive nervous system. When past experiences have been particularly painful, we can develop rigid coping styles that seem to make the world more controllable. For instance, if being in school as a child was unsafe and led to bullying, a person may develop a firm rule for themselves never to take classes. If we have experienced the sting of rejection in the past, some people end up developing a guarded interpersonal style, making sure to keep others at an emotional distance.

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